


the bright side

by birlcholtz (justwhatialwayswanted)



Series: Frog Ficlets [10]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Chowder is a good friend, Happy Ending, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, assorted members of the Samwell Men's Hockey team - Freeform, background Chowder/Farmer, canon-compliant alcohol use (implied/referenced)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:42:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23268658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justwhatialwayswanted/pseuds/birlcholtz
Summary: When your d-man partner/roommate comes out to you as bi, it's a good idea to show you support him, right? And when your friend offers to set him up with someone on her volleyball team, you can still be supportive then, right?Nursey planned to do his best, but honestly, he just can't keep pretending. And when Dex really hits it off with some girl Farmer introduced to him at a kegster, it's just too much.
Relationships: Derek "Nursey" Nurse/William "Dex" Poindexter
Series: Frog Ficlets [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1123719
Comments: 44
Kudos: 226





	the bright side

**Author's Note:**

> thank you sO MUCH to all the people on tumblr who told me to write, expressed interest in seeing the finished product, or liked my 2am posts about writing! y'all seriously helped me finish this u don't even know how much

"You look like hell," Dex says quietly when he pushes open the door. A wedge of yellow light from the hallway is spilling into their room, which must be how he has enough light to see Nursey, because when Nursey had stumbled in here earlier he hadn't bothered to turn the light on before shutting the door firmly behind him. He'd had other things on his mind, and the dark felt a little more secure, a little more secret, anyway.

The kegster must be over, or something, or Dex wouldn't be here. The music seems quieter, or maybe not— Nursey honestly can't tell anymore. He doesn't know how long he's been in here, just that he'd decided it was a better choice for him to leave than to drink as much alcohol as he would probably need in his system to forget what he had just seen.

"Thought you would be with that volleyball player," Nursey mumbles. "Go have fun, I'm fine."

"The volley— oh, Melanie? No."  _ So her name is Melanie. _

Dex closes the door behind him, putting their room back into darkness, and comes and sits on the floor next to Nursey, who's been leaning against the wall with his knees tucked up against his chest for probably too long, but if he moves now he'll probably just regret it. He knows he's dehydrated enough that any attempt to stand would go badly.

Nursey doesn't care that it sounds whiny when he says, "Why not?" If he's lucky, Dex will assume he's still drunk.

Dex sighs. "She's very nice, but that's not really what I was looking for tonight."

"Looked like it was."

It sounds petty. Nursey immediately wishes he could take it back. Maybe he's not as sober as he thought— usually he's better at keeping his emotions from leaking into his voice.

"Oh, it  _ did, _ did it?" Dex replies in a tone that's a little too sardonic and matches Nursey's own words a little too well for Nursey's comfort. "Yeah, well, I thought it was, and I realized I was wrong, so now I'm up here instead of down there." He stretches his legs out and folds his hands in his lap and says, "What about you?"

"...What?" Nursey says, because he has absolutely no idea what Dex is referring to by that.

"I mean, we have Nursey Patrol for a reason, and that reason is not because you usually go to your room after an hour and two beers."

It's not. But Nursey isn't really in the mood to party. "Who was on duty tonight?" he asks, because he wasn't down there long enough or drunk enough for whoever it was to actually do anything and reveal themselves.

"Oh, Hops. I told him I'd take over."

And that casual 'I'd take over' is the hardest part. Because Dex is the last person Nursey wants to see right now (which he knew would be pretty difficult because they do still share a room and Dex is used to looking out for Nursey just like Nursey looks out for Dex, when he's not drunk). Because Nursey just wants to wallow in his feelings for a couple hours, go to sleep, and try not to think about Dex making out with the volleyball player Farmer had introduced him to. And here Dex is.

The shitty part is that he'd been trying to be encouraging and supportive of Dex dating people (like a good friend, like any supportive friend would, like any friend trying to help their newly out bi friend, and he's thought 'friend' way too many times now but the word keeps rolling around in his head like a reminder), even if it made him slightly uneasy for some reason, but supporting Dex dating people in the abstract was  _ extremely _ different from seeing it happen.

And Nursey saw it happen.

And he's more upset than he wants to be, more upset than he has a right to be, because the lightning-fast jealousy in his body had never tried to make itself known before. If it had, maybe he would have been better prepared and ready to do something other than sit on the floor of their room in the dark and sniffle. Because he's jealous and sad and frustrated and he feels betrayed which makes him feel guilty because he has no right whatsoever to feel betrayed but he does anyway, and that makes him feel like he's being unfair, which is just a lot of fucking emotions to be dealing with all at once, and Dex sitting there next to him like everything is fine is just making things worse.

"Hey," Dex says softly, and Nursey realizes he must have let an audible sniffle slip out. "What's going on?"

This is too much.

"I'm just gonna go to bed," he chokes out, and he stands up, but he'd forgotten about the whole dehydration thing, and the world tilts as Nursey almost falls into the wall.

Almost, because at the last second, Dex is there with steadying hands on his shoulders, and he says, "Yeah, let's get you to bed," and Nursey mentally prepares himself for the climb up to the top bunk, but instead he feels Dex steer him to the bottom bunk and say, "Take mine, I don't think you should climb ladders in the dark like this."

Oh, fuck no, Nursey cannot handle sleeping in Dex's bed on top of all of this. And he intends to make that clear, but instead what happens is he trips over his own shoelaces and internally admits defeat. Dex is probably right. If it was anyone else's bed, Nursey would have accepted it, so he's determined that Dex is going to be no different. That's how it has to be, anyway.

Nursey sits down on Dex's bunk, and Dex says "Take off your fucking shoes," but he says it gently. "I'm gonna go get some water so we both don't die tomorrow morning."

And then the door opens and closes and Dex is gone, and Nursey finally lets a sob escape, because of  _ course _ Dex is being super fucking nice right now. And he knows Dex said he's not planning to hook up tonight, and if he's getting water for both of them then he must be planning to sleep here, but a tiny, vicious part of Nursey vehemently suggests that Dex is actually just leaving because he's going to go hang out with Melanie, who is pretty and fun and new, instead of his crying, downer roommate who won't tell him what's going on and who he only just recently stopped arguing with all the time.

(It was a necessary adjustment. They do have to sleep sometimes. That doesn't mean it was easy.)

That provokes another sob, and soon he can't stop himself, and he's already taken off his shoes but he just sits in Dex's bunk and cries into his sleeve because he doesn't want to get snot and tears all over Dex's pillow, on top of everything else.

Fuck.  _ Fuck. _

He cannot be this upset. He doesn't want to be this upset, or upset at all. He didn't even know he wanted to kiss Dex until he saw someone else doing it. It was just a kiss. ( _ It was only a kiss, _ his mind repeats automatically, and if Nursey could smack his own consciousness he would because he doesn't need Mr. Brightside, of all songs, stuck in his head right now, fuck you very much.)

But it's too late, that's what's playing in his head right now, which is a fucking fantastic soundtrack to the looping images of Dex and Melanie, her trying to pull him onto the dance floor, him laughing as he refused, and then only minutes later his hands on her hips and her arms wrapped around him and—  _ fuck. _

He feels silly. He feels like utter shit. He feels heartsick.

The door opens, and Nursey tries to wipe his eyes before Dex sees, but it's too late. 

He's holding two glasses of water, and he's got something rectangular under his arm, and when he sets down the waters on his desk and offers the rectangular thing, Nursey realizes it's a box of tissues.

Fuck William Poindexter.  _ Fuck _ him.

"Thanks," Nursey mutters as he takes the box, because it's the polite thing to do, and tries to pretend he isn't wiping tears off of his chin, because somehow they got all the way down there.

Dex sits down next to him, and the ease with which he does so just tells Nursey that to Dex there is absolutely nothing weird about Nursey sitting in his bed.

Lovely. That's a super helpful thought right now.

"You don't have to tell me," Dex says. "But you should tell  _ someone _ what's going on."

Nursey sniffs at him and hopes that conveys exactly how little he cares for that idea. How pathetic would it be, after years of fighting with (okay, and actively provoking, although Dex was just as much of an instigator) him, to suddenly announce to one of their teammates that Nursey's in love with him? He'd be lucky if anyone even  _ believed _ him. That's how ridiculous this situation is.

And to make it even better, he has Mr. Brightside stuck in his head. Goddamn it.

"Seriously," Dex says.

"Seriously, what?" Nursey croaks out, and it kind of feels good to be petty, even though he knows it shouldn't.

"Seriously, you should tell someone. I don't know what's going on, but I've never seen you this upset about something before. Bottling it up isn't be healthy."

"Hmm, well, you're the expert on that."

It comes out mean, and Dex stiffens next to him. Nursey regrets it as soon as he says it. 

"Dex, I'm sorry, I just..." and then he stops, because he doesn't know what he meant to say. "I'm not mad at you," he tries, but it sounds unconvincing even to him.

Dex huffs in either anger, annoyance, or (maybe, possibly, probably not, no,  _ definitely _ not) amusement. "Sure. You're doing an excellent job of making me believe you. What did I do?"

Nursey grabs another tissue. "It doesn't matter. Don't worry about it."

"Yeah, it fucking matters. If I did something to make you this upset I want to know what it is. Usually when I piss you off I at least know  _ why." _

"You wouldn't believe me."

"Try me."

"No."

Dex is silent for a while, and then he gets up and says sharply, "Okay, well, have fun in here by yourself, then," and he goes into the bathroom and closes the door behind him, and when Nursey hears another door open and close, he knows Dex has gone directly to Chowder's room.

Which is fair. All of that is fair. Nursey hasn't given him anything to work with. But Dex still got him tissues, and offered his bed, and got water for both of them.

If Dex is planning to crash in Chowder's room, Nursey can at least bring him one of the glasses of water. He can find his Advil, too, just in case Dex needs it, it's somewhere in the top drawer of his desk, and that means Nursey won't have it for himself tomorrow morning but honestly, whatever. He'll probably just stay in bed anyway.

He doesn't bother to put his shoes back on, and stands up slower than he did earlier, with one hand on the ladder. It works, and he feels a lot steadier, even if his headache from dehydration has been made even worse after all the crying. He can deal with a headache. He'll just find his Advil, bring it to Dex with one of the glasses of water, and then come back, and suck it up and sleep in Dex's bed for the night.

The Advil isn't in his top drawer, but it's in his middle drawer, and that's the second place Nursey looks, so it's fine. He grabs the whole bottle, and one of the glasses of water— they're real glasses, not Solo cups, where did Dex even find them?— and with some fumbling, but without dropping anything, he manages to get the door to the bathroom open, then the door to Chowder's room.

Dex is there, hunched over his phone in the corner, and Nursey feels a strange sense of role reversal, except for the fact that the lights are on.

He doesn't react as Nursey approaches, and for a second Nursey thinks that's because he's just looking at something incredibly interesting, but then he realizes Dex's eyes are glazed over like he's staring into space and his phone just happens to be in the way. The screen is dark.

His plan is to set down the water and the Advil where Dex can see them and then go back to their room, but Dex looks up as Nursey gets closer and says without hesitation, "You really look like shit, you know."

Nursey bites back his instinctive _ 'yeah, I got it the first time, thanks' _ and just kind of shrugs at him before turning and leaving. He closes the doors behind him, both of them. He carefully does not look in the bathroom mirror. He doesn't want to see his face— not the tear tracks or red eyes that he knows he has, and not the guilty embarrassment that is starting to take over his emotions, although the jealousy and sadness are not going down without a fight.

He changes into a shirt that doesn't have snot on the sleeves before he lies down on Dex's bed. He doesn't get under the covers, because even though Dex gave him permission, that still feels like too much of an invasion. And Dex gave him permission before the whole leaving to go to Chowder's room thing, anyway.

The pillow smells like the same laundry detergent that all of Dex's clothes smell like, some sort of generic 'fresh' scent, and Nursey has to sit up and grab the tissue box from the floor before he actually does start crying into Dex's pillow.

He doesn't know how long he sits there, recycling everything he's thought over the past couple of hours over and over and over and over and  _ over _ , with a side of violently remembering "have fun in here by yourself, then" and "you really look like shit, you know," but eventually he runs out of tears. Before he runs out of tissues, thankfully. His head is pounding. He still feels shitty, no surprises there.

Dex isn't back yet.

Not that Nursey thought he would be. That's why he brought over the Advil and water. But it was also kind of a peace offering, and he'd... kind of been hoping that Dex would come back.

Maybe he shouldn't have shrugged and left as soon as Dex said something to him, then. But that's what he did, and he has to deal with that.

Right as he's resigning himself to going to bed without seeing Dex again, the bathroom door opens, and Nursey lets himself hope, but it's Chowder.

Chowder flicks the lights on.

"Ow," Nursey says, and covers his eyes with his hands. He's been sitting in the dark for a long time, apparently.

"'Ow' is right," Chowder says, and Nursey hears footsteps and uncovers his eyes, and Chowder sits down on the floor in front of Nursey, neatly avoiding the pile of used tissues that Nursey should probably throw in the trash. He has shadows under his eyes, and for the first time Nursey wonders what time it is. He can't hear the music anymore. He wonders when the kegster ended. He wonders how long Chowder talked to Dex before coming in here. "Talk to me. Dex said you were crying and snapped at him when he tried to help, so he walked out."

Nursey lets out a bitter laugh. It feels raw in his throat. "Yeah, that kind of sums it up."

Chowder raises his eyebrows. "No, it doesn't."

Ugh. "You always call me out on my bullshit, C," he says instead of responding to that directly.

He nods and waits expectantly. Damn it.

Nursey sighs. The fight left him somewhere around his tenth tissue. "I'll tell you everything if you give me a hug first. Because I need one."  _ And you might not want to be so sympathetic after I tell you. _

"Deal." Chowder comes and sits next to him on the bunk and opens his arms, and he lets Nursey basically collapse on him, and he lets Nursey stay that way as he tells him everything, as promised, because Nursey doesn't want to look anyone in the eyes right now, least of all Chowder, who's always wanted so badly for Nursey and Dex to just get along. And now Nursey's feelings had to come along and mess that up, just when they were starting to make it work.

That just reminds Nursey of how hard Dex had been trying to help before Nursey snapped at him, and he cries some more into Chowder's shoulder, and Chowder pats his back and patiently waits for him to finish what he was saying.

Where did he fucking get friends like this? And why can't  _ he _ be a friend like this?

Finally, he finishes relating everything that happened, and he lets go of Chowder and waits a long time for him to say something.

When he does, all it is is "Get some sleep."

And then Chowder gets off the bed and starts heading for the door without another word, and that's so  _ weird _ that Nursey says, "That's it? You're not going to tell me to get my shit together or anything? You're not even going to tell me to pick up the pile of used tissues on the floor?"

"I think you know you owe Dex an explanation and an apology," Chowder says, pausing before he opens the door to the bathroom. "But I also think you should have that conversation after some sleep, a lot of water, and a decent breakfast. And, yeah, now that you mention it, you should pick up that pile of tissues, it's kind of gross. Sleep well."

And he's gone, the door closing behind him, and Nursey hears the other bathroom door open and close and muffled voices on the other side— Chowder, and Dex, and Farmer, oh God, he didn't mean to drag Farmer into this too. Melanie's her  _ teammate, _ she's the one who introduced them, Jesus  _ fuck. _

Nursey tosses the used tissues into his trash can, and he blows his nose one more time and ignores the pain around the base of his nose that means he's probably rubbed it raw with tissues, and he turns off the lights, and he doesn't think there's any way he'll be able to sleep, but once he's lying down on top of Dex's bed with the lights off, a feeling of bone-deep exhaustion overtakes him and the next thing he knows, there's sunlight coming in through the window and, once again, he has a pounding headache.

It's probably still the dehydration though. Hopefully. He only had two beers, and that was a long time ago, and he just really doesn't want a hangover, so maybe he can logically think his way out of one if he successfully argues to himself that there's no reason he  _ should _ have one.

Then he remembers that today he has to talk to Dex, and suddenly even the glass of water on Dex's desk feels farther away than Nursey wants to move today. Chowder won't have told Dex anything that Nursey said to him. That's an easy out, and he made it pretty clear he thinks Nursey has a responsibility to own up to things. 

Which Nursey agrees with, because he was an asshole. But he's not sure he can make himself face it, not with Dex in front of him. Apologizing is one thing. Telling Dex why it happened is another. But he owes him an explanation too.

It's the guilt that gets him moving, although he still doesn't know what he's going to say or how he's going to say it. He gets up and chugs the water and waits for his head to stop spinning, and then he smooths out Dex's blankets until it looks like nobody slept there at all and checks the floor for any leftover tissues, and there aren't any but the box is still on the floor, so he places it on his own desk and grabs the glass so he can take it to the kitchen. He doesn't put on shoes or change out of the jeans and t-shirt he fell asleep in last night. He has no plans of leaving the Haus today.

Although he might change out of the jeans later. But he has a feeling his legs are planning to just cope until he releases them, and  _ that's _ when he'll feel the indentations from the seams down the sides. Right now it just kind of feels like his jeans have melded with his legs. Which is weird, but Nursey has other things to think about right now.

Number one, what the fuck is he going to do?

The door to Chowder's room is closed when he goes by. He doesn't know if that means everyone who was in there is already awake, or everyone who was in there is still asleep, but the Haus is pin-drop silent, so he's guessing it's the latter. Which is a small blessing. Nursey gets a head start.

He doubles back to their room and gets his journal and a pen. If he writes this out first, it'll be a lot easier.

The stairs are clean, which is another improvement under Bitty's captaincy. The previous captains had been more inclined to leave kegster cleanup for the next day (well, Jack had tried his best to stay out of kegsters altogether, which made it more Shitty's decision). Fuck, he missed kegster cleanup too. 

Nursey wonders briefly what section the cleanup wheel had assigned him, and who had taken it over for him, then decides it's probably better to leave that in the past.

The kitchen is clean too, and he debates just putting his glass in the dishwasher before the pounding in his head reminds him that he should drink at least a few more glasses of water. So instead he fills it and sits down at the kitchen table and opens up his journal and starts writing.

The water goes un-drunk for some time, because once Nursey starts, he can't stop. He hasn't made any actual progress towards drafting an apology for Dex, but he can at least get out all his pettiness and all the small, mean comments that he'd kept out of his conversation with Chowder. Then he can be done with them.

But eventually, he writes,  _ I was jealous. I shouldn't have let it get the better of me. I'm sorry. _

And he figures that's a good starting point, and he drinks some water, and he refills his glass, and he keeps going.

Drafting the apology takes long enough that Nursey is starting to actually notice the gross taste in his mouth (although the water stopped his throat from feeling so raw), and he's mostly done by the time someone else enters the kitchen.

At least it's not Dex.

But it's Bitty, his own glass of water in hand, who gives him one look and says, "Rough night?"

"At least you didn't tell me I look like hell," Nursey grumbles. But writing things out has improved his mood a little, even if hammering out the details of what he wants to say to Dex is a little frustrating. It's frustrating because he's putting in the effort to get it right, which is  _ way _ better than how he felt last night. "Sorry I missed cleanup."

"Tango did your section. Didn't find any more money, though." Bitty opens the fridge and starts rummaging around before emerging triumphantly with eggs and some cartons. "Buttermilk pancakes today, we've got enough left, I think." He shakes one of the cartons contemplatively, shakes it again, and says, "Yup. There's plenty. You need any help?"

"No, but thanks for offering," Nursey says. "I need to do this by myself."

Bitty turns from where he's arranging ingredients on the counter and says slowly, "I don't know anything about what happened last night except that you vanished early and never came back, so I can't tell if you're being intentionally cryptic. But if you do need help, you know where to find me." As Nursey relaxes a little, Bitty pulls out a couple of mixing bowls. "And if you finish whatever you're doing before I have a chance, get a pot of coffee going, would you?"

Nursey doesn't know when he's going to be done with this, but he can at least do the coffee now. So he does, and once it's brewing, he sits back down and keeps working.

The problem is, he wants Dex to know it's not his fault. Nursey just got upset and couldn't keep it in check, and Dex had no way of anticipating that. Nursey can't ask him to be some island of neverending patience and goodwill while Nursey just flings snide comments at him. Dex had a right to get annoyed. So he has to figure out how to make sure that's clear, while also being clear about why he got upset in the first place.

Hmm. Well, it wasn't really Dex making out with Melanie that made Nursey upset. It made him jealous, and then he got upset that he was jealous, and it all snowballed, and by the time Dex came into their room Nursey had already kind of worked himself into emotional upheaval. 

The way he phrased that makes sense, Nursey is pretty sure. He can say that.

Tango eventually arrives in the kitchen with Whiskey in tow, and it doesn't take very long after that for Ollie and Wicks to emerge from the attic, and with every new person who arrives Nursey is grateful for the increased buffer between himself and Dex, Chowder, and Farmer. Maybe they can get the entire rest of the team in here first. That would be ideal. But he knows he's going to be on the edge of his seat until they arrive.

When they finally do, Hops and Bully are helping Bitty serve food, and Louis is distributing silverware, and Tango is pouring coffee into mugs and directing Whiskey to distribute  _ those. _ (Bitty hadn't invoked captain privileges to get them to help, and the tadpoles aren't as intimidated/awed by Bitty as the waffles are; Tango is just a pure soul like that and Whiskey tends to help out if Tango is helping. Or just if Tango asks him to.)

Nursey sees Farmer kiss Chowder on the cheek and put her shoes on and go out the front door, and he hopes she hasn't taken any offense that Nursey is having to really suppress feelings of hatred towards one of her teammates right now. If she knows what happened.

Even if Chowder hasn't said anything, which he almost definitely hasn't, Farmer might have put together the pieces herself. Nursey doesn't know how likely it is, but it's possible. Or she might not even have connected the dots between Dex with Melanie and Nursey fighting with Dex. That's also possible. Nursey genuinely doesn't know which is more likely. He's not sure he wants to know.

Chowder comes into the kitchen and smiles encouragingly at Nursey before taking his spot at the table and accepting a mug of coffee from Whiskey, and Dex is right behind him, and Dex...

Well, Dex looks like hell. He's still in the same clothes he wore yesterday, and the collar on his omnipresent flannel shirt is sticking up on one side, and he looks pale and washed out under his freckles, and his eyes are tired. He moves through the kitchen slowly, and his gaze skims past Nursey like he doesn't notice his presence, but his shoulders slump a little.

Nursey's already gone through the emotional guilt wringer several times in the past twelve-ish hours, but that makes his gut twist again, sharp and sudden. And at the same time, he's glad Dex cares enough to look like shit, and he's also kind of— no, very— displeased with himself for being glad about it.

Hooray.

"Rough night?" Ollie asks Dex as he sits down next to him, and Nursey holds his breath, and Dex pauses for an infinite moment before he shrugs and says, "Isn't that kind of every kegster?"

His voice sounds rough and raw as he says it. Nursey wonders if Ollie noticed.

Breakfast is uneventful. Nursey is sitting halfway down the table from Dex, and even farther from Chowder, and he makes conversation about mundane things with Hops and Bitty and Louis and tries not to look over at Dex too often. He doesn't know if he succeeds. Dex never catches him looking, but Bitty might. He knows something went wrong last night. He might be trying to figure it out. Even subconsciously.

But eventually, they finish the food, and everyone collectively shoos Bitty away from cleaning up since he did all the work, and Nursey puts plates on the drying rack and wonders when he's going to talk to Dex. He got sleep. He drank water. He ate breakfast. They both did. That's all the items on Chowder's pre-talk checklist fulfilled. And he has an explanation drafted in his journal, which he scoops up from the kitchen table as soon as the kitchen is clean, and he wants to get this over with, before time dulls his memory of how much last night sucked for both of them.

Dex is going to have to change at some point. He won't be able to stand being in yesterday's clothes for much longer, he never can. And Nursey wants to get out of these jeans and switch to sweatpants. So he goes upstairs and gets ready to wait.

When he opens the door to their room and finds Dex there, already in a red hoodie and orange gym shorts— god, what an awful combination, and Nursey wishes he was less fond of the endearingly terrible outfit— sitting in his desk chair and aimlessly fiddling with a rubber band, he knows he wasn't the only one with this idea.

But he leaves the door open behind him as he says, "Can we talk?" and waits for Dex's nod before closing it.

Nursey sits in his own chair facing Dex and pulls his legs up to sit cross-legged. "I want to apologize. And, um, I don't trust myself to say something on the spot and have it come out right, so I wrote it down first."

Dex nods again and pulls his own legs up onto his chair, but he tucks his knees under his chin and wraps his arms around his legs. It makes him look so much smaller than he is, and Nursey registers again exactly how worn-down Dex looks. Fuck.

He opens his journal to the right page and starts reading, and it's kind of funny how something that felt so big could be reduced into something so small. But Nursey's decided simpler and clearer is better.

"I got jealous," he reads. It's a good thing he rewrote the final draft in neat, legible handwriting, because he's stressed out enough about making sure his voice doesn't shake too much. "And then I was upset that I got jealous, and then I went and hid and let myself overthink things for hours, so by the time you came in I was already kind of a mess and I lashed out. I'm sorry I was such an asshole. Thank you for trying to help. Um, and also for listening to my apology."

He's hoping they can skate over who, exactly, Nursey was jealous of, but he's kind of also expecting that to be the first thing Dex asks.

It's not, though. Instead, Dex stares at his bare knees (the shorts are  _ so _ ugly) and says, "I was really fucking worried, you know."

"You look like you didn't sleep at all," Nursey says honestly, and then he says, "I am so sorry."

"I think I did," Dex says, still staring at his knees. "I don't really know. All I know is that at some point it turned into morning."

"Me too."

"Sorry I snapped at you."

"It's okay. You tried. And I did it first."

They sit there in silence for a little while, and Nursey closes his journal and puts it back on his desk, and Dex picks up his rubber band again and twists it, and Nursey thinks maybe he's gotten away with the whole skate-over-the-details-of-who-Nursey-likes thing, and then Dex says, "You don't have anything to be jealous about. Just so you know."

"Pardon?" Nursey says, because he would  _ really _ like an elaboration of that.

Dex switches to staring out the window. It means he has to turn so he's not even facing Nursey, but Nursey tries not to take it as an offense. Whatever Dex is planning to say, it's probably easier for him to feel like he's not being seen right now. "I like Melanie, but I'm not interested in her. I figured that out pretty quickly. And I'm pretty sure she feels the same. So... whoever you're jealous of. You don't need to be." Then he considers that for a second. "Actually, I don't know what Melanie did after I left. So maybe that's a lie. Sorry."

"I've literally never even met Melanie," Nursey says, before he's really finished thinking it through. "The only reason I know her name is because of you."

Dex blinks, and then he says, "Oh."

"Yeah."

Dex doesn't say anything else.

And Nursey suddenly finds himself wishing he had a rubber band of his own to fiddle with, just so he would have something to do with his hands that he could focus on intently and not worry about whatever is going through Dex's head right now.

"That's good," Dex finally says, and scratch that, Nursey is pretty sure if he had a rubber band, now is exactly when it would fly out of his hands and hit him in the face.

"Why is that good?" he asks, and he tries to inject as much chill into his voice as possible but kind of knows it's doomed to fail.

"I'd take sitting on the floor in the dark with you over kissing anyone else," Dex says, and then he scowls and looks away from the window, towards Nursey for a moment. "Unless you're crying and insulting me."

"Trust me, neither of us wants to repeat that experience," Nursey replies, but his mind is on the first part of what Dex said. "Is that true?"

Suddenly Dex is very interested in his knees again. "That I don't like being around you when you're crying and insulting me? Absolutely."

"I also don't enjoy crying and insulting you. I'm sorry," Nursey adds, and hopes it comes across as genuine as he meant it, and waits for what he thinks is an appropriate length of time before repeating, "The other part. Is that true?"

Dex keeps staring at his knees. Nursey waits. And eventually Dex says, "Yeah. Don't know when it happened. But it's true. That's why I didn't hook up with Melanie. I noticed you were gone at some point and I just wanted to go find you. So I did."

And that... has a lot of implications. Good ones.

But Nursey is still a little worried that Dex hasn't said anything about accepting his apology or forgiving him. That is kind of an important component of their continuing to functionally interact, which is an important component of the rest of their time in college.

It's going to sound dumb, but Nursey has already embarrassed himself plenty over the past day, what's one more time?

So he just asks. "Do you accept my apology?"

And Dex cracks a smile and says, "Jesus, Nurse, are we in first grade?" But then he says, "Yes."

"Oh, thank fuck," Nursey sighs. 

"We should also talk about how you just told me you were jealous of someone I made out with and I just told you I like you," Dex adds, and he's back to staring at his knees but his voice is steadier than it was.

Nursey blinks at the present tense. "I didn't want to assume anything on your end, given that I've been kind of preoccupied with wondering if you hate me now?"

"I  _ distinctly _ just told you I like you," Dex says, as his face starts flushing red. "Like, that literally just happened. Those words came out of my mouth approximately five seconds ago."

And Nursey can't help grinning, not just because Dex  _ likes him,  _ although that is certainly a central component, but also because normal Dex is back, Dex who is kind of pedantic and chirps him about dumb things and rolls his eyes overdramatically when Nursey chirps him right back. He's still got the bags under his eyes, but he's back. That's the real sign that things are moving in the right direction.

Right now, though, Nursey isn't in the chirping state of mind. Not the state of mind that leads to  _ good _ chirping, at least. Because his head is full of remembering that Dex  _ likes _ him, that he likes Dex and Dex likes him back and this is something they both know, and maybe they can  _ do _ something about it.

"I have a question," Nursey says faux-seriously.

Dex covers his face with his hands, but Nursey can see him smiling. "Oh my God."

"William Jilliam Poindexter—"

"Not my name."

"Jilliam William Poindexter—"

"Even more not my name."

" _ William Jilliam Babilliam Dex Poindexter, _ and that is my  _ final _ answer, do you want to go on a date with me?"

"I can't believe I'm agreeing to this," Dex mutters into his hands, but then he says, "Yes, Nursey, I do want to go on a date with you. Even if you think my middle name is Jilliam."

"Oh, I'm just kidding, I know it's Joindexter," Nursey replies, and that startles a laugh out of Dex right as he uncovers his face and looks up. "William Jilliam Joindexter Poindexter."

Dex looks him directly in the eye and says, "Horrific."

Nursey shrugs. "Blame your parents."

Dex shoots the rubber band at him, but it misses by like three feet, and then they both have to hunt for it because it landed somewhere in the closet. ("Haha, in the closet," Dex says, deadpan, and Nursey really struggles not to kiss him right then but his decision is made somewhat easier by the fact that he is currently hunched over a somewhat unstable pile of shoes and Dex is somewhere to his left possibly standing on the shoe rack. Nursey knows his own record with falling off of things it should be impossible to fall off of and tripping on things it should be impossible to trip on. He's not going to risk it.)

The rubber band, somehow, is dangling off of one of the buttons on Nursey's single clean button-down shirt, which is already a little precarious on its hanger, and Nursey takes the opportunity to button it up to the collar before handing the rubber band back to Dex, who stares at it and says, "I... genuinely did not think we were going to find it."

Nursey says, "Well, I think we're doing pretty well at discovering things today."

Dex closes his hand over the rubber band and says, "Did you plan that?"

"Not at all."

"Figures." And Nursey is about to ask him what he means, but then Dex says, "You always come up with clever shit on the spot."

Nursey's been smiling for a while, but he smiles more when he hears that. "You thought that was clever?"

Dex gives a characteristic eyeroll, but he's blushing a little. "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't think it was true."

"I'll keep that in mind," Nursey says, and he's telling the truth. He will. 

He doesn't really need Dex's help exiting the closet (ha), but when Dex offers his hand, nothing could prevent Nursey from taking it. And then he realizes, and promptly says out loud, "I should probably text Chowder."

"Oh, yeah," Dex says. "He was worried."

"Oh,  _ he _ was worried?" Nursey says, and it's definitely a good sign that it comes out lightly, lightly enough that both he and Dex laugh at it. "Yeah, I'll text him. One second."

It takes a lot longer to text Chowder 'talked to dex. all good' with only his left hand than it would with both, but Nursey is fine with making that exchange if it means he keeps holding Dex's hand. He is also fully aware that he's leaving out some crucial details. But those can wait until he and Dex have had a chance to talk about where they stand.

Chowder's response of 'thank god!!!!!!!! i'm proud of you!!!!!!!!' comes within fifteen seconds, and Nursey just shows Dex the screen instead of trying to count the number of exclamation points. And then another typing bubble appears, and 'did u tell him WHY tho' pops up.

Nursey glances at Dex, who says, "You definitely did do that, yes," and so that's what he replies. Attributing it to Dex, of course.

Chowder responds with a series of celebratory emojis and a request for 'deets on how it went, but only if you want to share and also only if it was interesting and also only if you're in the mood i mean im assuming it went well but i cant 100% tell from ur tone'. 

Nursey studies his phone. "I kind of want to say it went well and then just leave him hanging. But also I'm wondering if that counts as a dick move."

"He lives right next to us, he can knock," Dex points out. "Besides, he also said you didn't have to share."

"That is true. Okay, I'm gonna do it."

And he does, and he puts his phone on his desk and decides to stay away from it for a while, because it's Saturday and he's still holding Dex's hand and he kind of just wants to enjoy this.

"We should go on a date today, because tomorrow I have to write an essay," Dex says, and it's literally the most in-character thing Nursey has ever heard him say. "Why are you looking at me like that? It's true. It's due Monday morning."

"I didn't doubt you," Nursey assures him. "I'm just... really happy." And completely baffled at how his life can do a total 180 so quickly. And amazed at how Dex wants to go on a date, not just in some abstract future but  _ today, _ and on the flip side, amazed that Dex can also think about essays at a time like this, while also not surprised, because that's just who Dex is as a person.

But it's true. He's happy.

Dex smiles, and flushes, and then says, with all the tenacity of Bitty when they tried to keep him away from the oven, "So, today. What do you want—" And then he's interrupted by a massive yawn, and Nursey is looking at him so of course he yawns too.

"We  _ really _ did not sleep enough last night," Nursey says.

"That's a fair assessment, yeah." Dex considers that for a second, and Nursey can tell he's thinking instead of just spacing out because his nose gets all scrunched up. "Should we just watch Netflix or something?"

Nursey holds back his immediate remark about Netflix and chill (although it could be funny if he phrases it right, so he keeps it in mind for later), and says, "I'm super down for 'Netflix or something.'"

That earns him a gentle eyeroll (which, Nursey didn't even know those were  _ possible, _ but it doesn't surprise him to know that Dex has mastered every possible form of eyeroll on the planet). Dex follows it up with, "Shut up."

"Make me."

And then Nursey freezes, because that was a  _ much _ more aggressive come-on than he's been trying to go for but it was just the first thing he thought of, and Dex is almost as red as his hoodie, and for one heartstopping moment he is sure he has fucked everything up, but then Dex says, "Okay, I will," and uses the hand that's still holding Nursey's to pull him in and wrap his other arm around his waist and what the  _ fuck, _ why was that so  _ smooth, _ when did Dex become  _ smooth, _ and those three questions cross Nursey's mind in the blink of an eye and then he remembers he has more important things to do than ponder the mysteries of the universe.

Namely: kissing Dex.

His lips are a little chapped, and Nursey files that away in the section of his brain devoted to  _ Facts about Dex. _ But there are so many new facts that he needs to include as well. Like how Dex is actually a  _ really _ good kisser, again what the fuck, where did this  _ come _ from, and how Nursey can feel Dex's chest against his even through Dex's hoodie and Nursey's t-shirt, and how they're both barefoot and that means that there are no thick-soled shoes to make them different heights, they are exactly the same height and it is  _ perfect.  _

He doesn't really notice their intertwined fingers gradually loosening their grips and slipping away from each other, but he  _ does _ notice that suddenly he's able to cradle Dex's face in both his hands, and as soon as he notices that he really wants to do it, so he does, but then his arms get in the way so he settles for using them to pull Dex via his shoulders even closer, and he can smell that generic laundry detergent scent again but it doesn't smell  _ generic, _ it smells like Dex, and that's enough to make Nursey love it.

He's toying with the idea of running his fingers through Dex's hair, and Dex's hands are more at his hips than his waist now but he is  _ totally _ fine with that, and then there's a knock on their door and Chowder's voice says, "Nursey? Are you dead or are you just not replying to my texts?"

Nursey's eyes fly open, and he makes direct eye contact with Dex and then Nursey starts laughing so hard he's wheezing and Dex has to let go of Nursey because he's almost doubled over laughing and Chowder's voice says, "Okay, not dead then?"

"No," Nursey calls once he's caught his breath.

Chowder sounds remarkably like Bitty when he says, "Do I want to know what's going on in there?"

Nursey and Dex trade looks, and then Dex says, loud enough for Chowder to hear through the door, "Probably not?"

"Good to know, thanks! I'm leaving now," Chowder says, and his footsteps head down the hallway and fade out of earshot.

Nursey picks up his phone from his desk and scrolls through the messages. Yup, there are a lot of them.

**C:** that's great!!!

**C:** i hope you figured out whatever was going on with the whole feelings situation

**C:** oh and by the way tango asked me if something happened last night and i said you just werent feeling the whole kegster thing and he almost definitely bought it

**C:** so that's good!! you dont have to worry about explaining shit to the team if u dont want to i can redirect them just lmk

**C:** wait it just got really quiet in ur room is everything ok???

**C:** derek are you leaving me hanging

**C:** DEREEEEEEEK

**C:** oh my god are you having sex

**C:** no ur def not im calling it right now ur a screamer in bed and it is WAY too quiet in there

**C:** like im legit concerned are you dead did dex kill you

**C:** pls clarify im stressin NURSEY

"Uh," Nursey says, and he's not sure whether to show Dex the texts or not because of the whole having sex comment (and he does  _ not _ scream), but honestly...

Whatever. The whole team all comment-on-slash-chirp each other's sex lives constantly, anyway, so what's one more time?

So he comes back from his desk and hands Dex the phone, and Dex reads the messages, and apart from his ears turning pink his only response is, "Whoops."

"You were the one who said that if I left him hanging he could always knock," Nursey feels obligated to point out, but he does so lightly.

Dex shrugs. "Yeah, that's why I said whoops. I'd, um, do it again, though."

"Me too," Nursey agrees immediately. "Damn, when I woke up this morning I did  _ not _ think today was going to go well. And now look where we are."

"In our room?" Dex says with his eyebrows raised almost to the ceiling.

And Nursey knows him well enough by now to know that Dex knows exactly what he meant, so he replies, "Smartass."

"Look who's talking, 'Netflix or something.'" Dex grins, a little crooked, and Nursey may or may not feel his heart flutter in his chest.

"Should we put Chowder out of his misery?"

"Yeah, he's probably dying for information right now. I told him a  _ lot _ of shit last night," Dex adds.

"Oh, shit, I did too." Nursey considers all the very specific things he mentioned when he explained to Chowder why he was jealous that made it  _ very _ clear exactly how into Dex he is. "Yup, he is probably dying and the only reason he isn't continuing to blow up my phone is because he has the patience of a saint."

"Agreed."

They debate what exactly to say for a few minutes, but as always, simpler is better.

**Nursey:** yo btw we were making out when you knocked earlier

Within five seconds, they hear Chowder's scream of "WHAT THE  _ FUCK" _ through the wall, and Dex fucking  _ giggles,  _ and Nursey has never heard a better sound.

**C:** THAT'S GREAT HOW DID THAT HAPPEN TELL ME EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!

**Nursey:** i apologized and then he said i didnt need to be jealous and then i was like what and he told me he likes me so i asked him out and then it just kind of happened?

**C:** holy shit holy shit holy shit

The sound of a door flying open makes Nursey and Dex both look up from Nursey's phone, and then their bathroom door opens and Chowder emerges, phone still in hand and grin triumphant, and says, "I thought you were just going to bury everything forever!"

"That was the plan, yeah," Nursey says, and he finds his gaze drawn to Dex almost automatically. Dex is smiling at him, small and soft enough that Nursey isn't sure he even knows he's doing it, and that makes Nursey smile too. "But, uh, that's not how it happened."

"No  _ shit!" _ Chowder says. "Are you gonna tell anyone else? Because, like, I didn't want to freak you out, but Bitty has been giving me his concerned look all day because he knows I know something and Hops and Whiskey both wanted to know if something was wrong, like Whiskey  _ actually _ came to the Haus more than once in a day because he wanted to ask me about it, and then I told Bitty that and he looked like he might cry tears of joy but then he just started baking? But that's a pretty normal response for Bitty to anything honestly, so I don't know why I was surprised. I think they're muffins, though, which is unusual? But anyway, they're curious. Also worried."

"Um, before we tell them anything we need to figure out what exactly what to say," Dex says.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea!" Chowder slips his phone into his back pocket. He's wearing jeans, which also reminds Nursey that he was going to change out of yesterday's jeans and never did. Oh well. "I'll leave you to it, I just wanted to say I'm glad you managed to talk things out! Also, I wanted to see you both with my own eyes to make sure you weren't bullshitting me about the whole making out thing. But I did that, so, bye!" And he's gone as quickly as he came, closing the bathroom door behind him.

And it suddenly occurs to Nursey that, yeah, they really should figure out exactly what they're going to say to the rest of the team. That would be a bad time to realize that they want different things out of this... relationship, or whatever it's going to be.

"So we should make sure we're on the same page, yeah?" he says, aiming for chill and knowing that he misses it by a mile.

"Yeah," Dex says. And he sticks his hands in the pocket of his sweatshirt and looks at his desk instead of Nursey, and weirdly enough, that makes Nursey feel a little more comfortable, because he knows the only reason  _ he _ feels awkward is that he really wants a real relationship and he's worried that isn't what Dex wants.

So if Dex feels awkward too, then... maybe they're in agreement?

"I'm just gonna put my cards on the table and say it," Nursey decides. Things seem to go better when he does that. "I want a relationship with you. I don't think I would be able to do, like, a friends-with-benefits thing."

"Oh, thank  _ fuck, _ me neither," Dex says, and he takes his hands out of his pockets and says, "So I guess that's everything, right? We just need to figure out  _ when _ to tell everyone."

"Soon," Nursey requests.

"Oh, yeah, of course, Ransom and Holster graduated so they can't fine us within an inch of our lives, I wasn't going to suggest hiding anything." Dex frowns. "Team dinner, I guess? I think that's the next time we're all going to be together."

"Yeah. Speaking of Ransom and Holster, they can't fine us from Cambridge, right? Because I kind of want to see Holster's reaction."

Dex smirks at him and says "I like the way you think" and Nursey has to really try not to trip on absolutely nothing and collapse on the spot.

His smirk says he knows it, too.

Bastard.

But a lovable bastard.

"We should ask Bitty to call a team dinner for tonight," Dex continues like Nursey didn't just almost die. "Just to make sure everyone's there. I'll text him. And I guess we should call Ransom and Holster?"

"Let's FaceTime them from my phone, that way we can see their faces," Nursey suggests.

"Okay. Now?"

"Yeah," Nursey says, and then Dex goes and sits down on his bunk and pats the blanket next to him as he pulls out his phone and starts texting Bitty, and Nursey very intelligently says, "Uh?"

Dex is already starting to turn red, and Nursey is pretty sure he's growing very fond of that particular tendency. "You literally slept here last night. Come sit down. We can call them from here."

Nursey has spent more time in Dex's bed in the past twenty-four hours than he has ever spent before in his  _ life. _ But so far it's working out, so he's not complaining.

(He might wind up spending a lot more time here in the future, his brain adds, and Nursey wills himself to not think about that too hard right now. Ransom and Holster, but Holster in particular, both have a particular gift for yelling about sex-related things, and for that exact reason Nursey would like to be as calm as possible going into a conversation with them about his and Dex's relationship. Their  _ relationship. _ Holy shit.)

Dex finishes typing and says, "Okay, team dinner at six-thirty, Bitty's telling everyone." And then he looks up and notices Nursey is still standing in the middle of the room. "Seriously. Sit down."

And, well, it's basically serving the purpose of a couch, and it's not like Nursey actually objects, it's just...  _ Dex's bed. _ It feels inherently suggestive to sit there now. But Dex is right that he's already slept there, and it  _ will _ be easier to get both of them in the frame if they're sitting next to each other, so Nursey sits down next to Dex on the bed— bunk—  _ whatever _ , and pulls up Holster's contact info since he'll probably answer faster, and hits Call, and after a few rings, Holster's face (complete with glasses) fills the screen.

"Oh,  _ hey!" _ he says, and then looks away from the camera and says, "Rans, Nursey and Dex just called, come say hi!"

"Both of them?" Ransom's voice says, and then there's a pause and then Holster moves the phone and Nursey can see both of them sitting on a couch. "Oh, yeah, both of them. 'Sup?"

"We have news for you," Nursey says, and Dex scoots in a little so all of his face can be in the frame, which means that their knees are touching. If Nursey wasn't holding the phone, he could easily, even  _ casually _ (or fake casually, which is a lot more likely) set his hand on Dex's leg. 

"Cool, I love news," Holster says, and he pushes his glasses up his nose as Ransom nods.

"So you know how we've, like, kind of fought a lot the whole time we've known each other?" Dex says.

"Dude, yeah, Lardo told us about the dib flip, it sounded  _ intense," _ Ransom says. "But you're still sharing the room, right?"

"Oh, yeah," Dex says. And then he gives Nursey a significant look, which Nursey takes to mean that he should break the news.

So he does. "Well, uh, we're actually dating now."

There's silence for a second, and Ransom and Holster have identical frozen expressions of surprise on their faces, and then Holster turns to Ransom and says at top volume, "I fucking  _ told you  _ it was going to happen!"

"I  _ know, _ I thought you were joking!" Ransom retorts, almost as loud, but nobody can match Holster for volume, not really. "Lardo made it sound pretty fucking  _ doomed, _ man."

Holster turns back to face the camera. "She really did," he tells Nursey and Dex. "Like, she said she thought one of you might try to move out. And then Ransom was like yeah and I was like no and Shitty abstained because he said he had no idea what to expect. But I McFucking  _ believed _ in you."

"Wow, Ransom, cold," Nursey says at the same time that Dex says, "Did you just say 'McFucking'?"

"I absolutely did, and I stand by it," Holster declares, and when Dex laughs his shoulder presses into Nursey's and Nursey is so absorbed in that feeling of closeness that he almost misses it when Ransom answers him.

"I mean, individually you're both very rational, intelligent people," Ransom says. "But when you're together you're kind of. Dumbasses." 

Which is fair. Dex absolutely brings out Nursey's inner dumbass. But now it's in a fun way and not an angry way. 

"And Holtzy has been swearing up and down for like a month that it's because you were secretly in love and at the time I thought he was joking but now I  _ really _ want to know where he got his info."

"The  _ vibes,  _ dude. There was some incredibly tense chirping in like... all of last year," Holster says. "I do mean that sexually." Well. Nursey knew  _ that  _ was coming, but— wait, all of last year?

" _ All _ of—" he starts to ask, but Holster changes direction fast, because that's just who he is as a person."And can we go back to how you got together? When did this happen?  _ How _ and  _ why _ did it happen?"

Nursey gives them the abbreviated version of events he gave Chowder (although he does remember to explain who, exactly, Melanie is, since he's not sure how well Ransom and Holster know the names of the women's volleyball team), and when he's done, Ransom says, "Damn. Did that all happen  _ today?" _

"Well. The kegster was last night," Dex says.

"Morning kegsters could be interesting," Holster says. "Mimosas. But that's besides the point. The point is that that's fucking awesome and congrats!"

Nursey says "Thank you" and Dex says "Haha, thanks," and Ransom says "But mimosas are a brunch thing and you can't have a brunch kegster, the food is too fancy to make en masse."

"You could have mini waffles."

"Where would you get the mini waffles?"

"Eggo waffles."

"You would have to toast  _ all _ of them."

Holster frowns. "That's true. Unfortunate."

"You could have mimosas and  _ not _ have brunch," Dex says, and Ransom immediately says "Absolutely not," and then they're arguing about whether mimosas are, in fact, inherently a brunch drink, and Holster jumps in with the point that whether mimosas are a brunch drink or not, brunch is just delicious and he thinks they should have it, and Nursey would join the conversation but honestly, he's starting to feel how late he was up last night, and it's just nice to sit here with Dex and listen to them.

Eventually Dex says "I'll hold the phone, you've been holding it for a while," and Nursey hands it to him, and then a few minutes later he feels his eyelids trying to close and kind of makes an effort to stop them, but he also just  _ really _ wants to sleep until whenever team dinner is. Six-thirty? That sounds right. And that's not for a few hours. He can sleep.

That's roughly the last thing he remembers thinking before a phone alarm goes off. Dex's phone alarm.

For a second, Nursey thinks maybe he just had a really long, emotionally exhausting, elaborate dream, and maybe it's still Friday and they haven't even had that kegster yet, but then he opens his eyes and realizes he's still in the bottom bunk and Dex is right next to him.

Well, Dex is kind of right next to him, he's leaning towards his desk so he can reach his phone and turn his alarm off, and when he does, he turns and his gaze finds Nursey's and he says, "It's six-twenty," and it must be the fact that he just woke up that's making his face so open and relaxed and  _ soft _ right now. "Team dinner in ten."

"Ugh, I don't want to get up," Nursey says, but he begins the laborious process of sitting up anyway, and that's when he discovers that someone— well, it was almost definitely Dex— has tucked a blanket around him. It's green, and fuzzy, and he's seen it many times, usually folded at the foot of Dex's bed unless he needs the extra layer in the winter.

When he sits up, he's eye to eye with Dex, whose legs are stretched out towards the end of the bed like Nursey's are, which makes Nursey pretty sure Dex also fell asleep here. And he wishes that he'd woken up before Dex's alarm had gone off so he could have redistributed the blanket evenly over both of them, or brushed Dex's hair away from his face, or any of the nine hundred sappy romantic things his brain is currently supplying.

"Did I fall asleep in the middle of talking to Ransom and Holster?" he asks, instead of giving voice to each individual sappy romantic thing clamoring for space in his head.

"Yeah," Dex says. "Don't worry, they thought it was cute."

"That's because I'm always cute," Nursey says.

"Yeah," Dex says again, which startles Nursey into full awakeness.

They can't keep having such a one-sided conversation, so Nursey says " _ You're _ cute," just to make sure Dex knows, and immediately Dex turns bright red.

Good. 

"Um, team dinner is here, by the way," Dex says. "So we don't have to put shoes on or anything."

"You say 'team dinner is here' and I hear 'we don't have to actually leave the room until six twenty-eight,'" Nursey replies. 

"It's six twenty-three."

"So that's five minutes of being here with you." And he's proud of how smoothly he gets the words out, and  _ especially _ proud that Dex (although his face probably can't get more red than it already was) immediately buries his face in his hands. Yup, Dex gets flustered  _ very _ easily, and Nursey is absolutely going to take advantage of that. If he can continue to pretend that he's smooth. It's a delicate balance.

Probably, Nursey is going to embarrass himself many times in search of this delicate balance, but he wraps an arm around Dex's shoulders and finds he doesn't care. And eventually Dex resurfaces and says, "Team dinner is going to be great."

"Yeah, Hops is going to fall out of his chair, I'm calling it right now."

"Oh, not just that," Dex says. And his voice is deceptively casual when he continues, "I'm just really looking forward to being able to tell people how lucky I am."

The sound Nursey makes might be a squeak. He's not really sure. What he  _ is _ sure of is that while Dex might be easily flustered, Nursey was wrong to assume that means he is automatically the more smooth one.

What the  _ fuck. _

He's staring, he knows he is, and that's how he knows that Dex is slowly starting to blush again— apparently it also applies when he's the one saying things that are frankly unfairly swoonworthy— and it's also how he knows that then Dex turns to look back at him and they make eye contact for a few seconds before Dex leans in and kisses him, soft and slow, and then pulls away and says, "It's six twenty-seven."

"Ugh," Nursey says again, because although they should definitely tell the rest of the team what's going on, the idea of just skipping dinner and staying here is feeling pretty appealing.

Dex shrugs and says, "If we're willing to deal with the chirping, we can probably leave as soon as we're done eating."

"I'm down with that," Nursey decides immediately.

"Yeah, me too. But that means we need to get up now."

"And yet you make absolutely no movement to do so."

Dex rolls his eyes at him and stands up, then holds out his hand. Nursey takes it, lets Dex pull him up, kind of leaves the blanket in a pile on the bed but he can fold it when they get back, and laces their fingers together. "Ready?"

"Ready," Dex confirms, and he opens the door.

The hallway looks the same as it did this morning, and the stairs look the same as they did this morning, but walking down them hand in hand with Dex is  _ completely _ different from doing it alone, tired, and dreading the rest of the day. 

They're almost down the stairs when Whiskey comes in through the front door, muttering something about 'three times in one day', and then he promptly sees them, and his eyes flick back and forth from their faces to their entwined hands, and he softly says, "Holy shit."

"Um, hi," Nursey says back.

"Hello," Whiskey says, and he runs a hand through his hair. "Is this why we have team dinner?"

Straight to the point as always.

"Yeah, but Bitty doesn't know that yet," Dex replies. 

"What don't I know?" Bitty calls from the kitchen. "Is it about Nursey? Because Chowder said whatever happened was deets-worthy but he refused to say anything more."

Whiskey turns and heads for the kitchen, and Nursey and Dex follow, because that is after all where the food is, making it the ultimate destination. 

"Pretty deets-worthy, yeah," Nursey says once they get to the kitchen doorway, and Bitty's eyes follow the exact pattern Whiskey's did and then he yells— well, kind of screeches—  _ "What?" _

He's stirring a pot of mac and cheese, so he doesn't leave the stove, but he does say, "I want to know  _ everything.  _ What happened, why, when, how, and also when did you realize you were into each other because I have five bucks riding on it and if Ford wins I will not hear the end of it for the rest of my  _ life." _

" _ Bitty," _ Dex splutters. "When did you make a bet?"

"August." Bitty starts to gesture at them with the mac and cheese spoon, but then seems to think better of it and puts it back in the pot. "It was entirely Ford's idea, I will have you know. Well, not really, but she said 'I bet they're pining hardcore'— I think those were her exact words— and I said 'five bucks says they don't even know', and that was that."

Whiskey, who's now leaning against the counter by the fridge, snorts and says, "Ford should not have taken that bet."

"You don't even know who won," Nursey protests, even though Whiskey is right.

"Nah, you argue way too much. If you knew you were into each other one of you would have blurted it out eventually. But then, I guess Ford didn't know that in August, maybe?"

"I'm with Whiskey," Bitty says, and Nursey notices he's smiling into the mac and cheese. Well, if it takes Nursey and Dex's overly complicated relationship shenanigans to get Whiskey to engage more with the rest of the team, happy to help.

"Hi!" Chowder says from the kitchen doorway, followed immediately by Ollie and Wicks, who look at Nursey and Dex, look at each other, and then say "'Swawesome" in sync.

Nursey is still confused by them ninety percent of the time, but he at least understands why Ransom and Holster gave them dibs on the attic. And Dex squeezes his hand, and Nursey squeezes back, and he realizes that they've already gotten through telling a substantial fraction of the team with little to no effort and dinner hasn't even started yet.

"But seriously, you need to tell me who won the five dollars," Bitty adds.

"You," Nursey and Dex say in unison, and Bitty says, "Good," and just a little of his 'hockey captain' voice creeps through, but it vanishes when he adds, "So when  _ did _ you know?"

"Uh. Last night?" Nursey says.

"At the kegster," Dex says.

Bitty nods. "Dramatic timing. I expected nothing less from you two."

"Okay, why is nobody surprised?" Dex asks, which is kind of exactly what Nursey has been wondering himself. "Like, seriously. I feel like I was more surprised than all of you combined."

Right at that moment, Tango enters the kitchen and says, "Oh, wow! Are you dating now?"

"See, this is what I mean," Dex says, as Nursey nods at Tango, who silently mouths 'oh wow' again and goes to stand with Whiskey. "Everyone's like... surprised we got our shit together but not surprised that  _ we're _ together."

"Romantic," Whiskey comments dryly, and Bitty hides a grin. Yeah, Bitty is definitely capitalizing on this to get Whiskey to interact with everyone more.

"If you're so unimpressed, then you can explain yourself," Dex states, and that... should not be attractive but then Dex immediately wins a three-second staredown with Whiskey, and as Whiskey looks away and stuffs his hands in his pockets Nursey realizes that he is, in fact, attracted to whatever the hell that was on Dex's part.

Well. That's a thing he knows now.

"Uh, you just kind of get... really into chirping each other," Whiskey says. "Like way more than usual. And make really heavy eye contact while you do it. Honestly, I thought you were already boning, until I realized you genuinely didn't know what you were doing?"

Dex nods slowly. "Thank you for your honesty," he says, and then turns and surveys the rest of the people in the kitchen, which have slowly amassed into what looks like... pretty much everyone. "Anyone else want to share?"

"When Nursey was talking about that one guy from his study group a couple weeks ago Dex looked like someone kicked a puppy," Hops volunteers instantly.

Tango raises his hand and says, "Yeah, and someone from the swim team was totally hitting on Nursey last night and he didn't notice at  _ all _ ."

"Nursey basically writes Dex's bibliographies for him," Chowder adds.

Bitty doesn't even turn away from the stove as he says, "Once Nursey mentioned the window screen in their room is a little old and Dex immediately dropped what he was working on and went to replace it.  _ And _ every time he chooses what type of pie to bake it's something Nursey likes."

"And Nursey listens to  _ dad rock  _ now," Louis says mournfully.

"Did Bitty win or did I?" Ford asks from the back. She must have just gotten there. Nursey can barely see her between Hops' and Ollie's shoulders.

"Bitty, sorry," Nursey says.

"Aw, fuck. I figured. Well, let's eat dinner."

With that out of the way, and the whole team up to speed, dinner proceeds fairly normally, except Nursey keeps holding Dex's hand under the table. Hops does not fall out of his chair, although to be fair they kind of lost their chance to make a big surprise announcement. Whiskey still mostly talks to Tango and Ford, but every so often he lets himself be pulled into a discussion taking up about half the table about Mario Kart.

"I'm happy for you," Bitty says to Nursey and Dex at some point. "Not just because I've been waiting for this for like three months. I'm glad you found each other. And it's real cute."

"Thanks, Bitty," Nursey says, and Dex has a mouthful of salad but he nods.

And Nursey thinks that's the end of the conversation, but after a few seconds, Bitty adds, "And I'm  _ really _ glad you're sharing a room with each other instead of anyone else in the Haus. Please keep it that way." And he grins at them and then Bully asks him a question about Rainbow Road and apparently, the Mario Kart conversation has expanded to cover the entire table except for Nursey and Dex.

"That was easy," Nursey murmurs to him.

Dex smiles. "Yeah," he replies, voice just as soft. "We got off pretty easy from the chirping, too."

"Even though you  _ asked _ them to chirp us, basically."

Dex huffs, but he's still smiling. "You were curious too, don't deny it. Also, when did  _ you _ of all people start listening to, well, 'dad rock' is what Louis called it, I guess?"

"A few weeks ago," Nursey admits. "But I never listened to it when you were around because I didn't want you to hear and chirp me for the rest of my days."

"Too late. I'm gonna do it. But also, you told me about ATCQ like a year ago. So we're even."

Nursey feels himself smile as he asks, "You still listen to them?"

Dex flushes a little. "Yeah, I thought you knew."

" _ Adorable," _ Chowder yells from the other end of the table. "How did I know both of these things already and neither of you did? Nursey made me listen to Creedence Clearwater Revival for like  _ two hours _ last week."

"They didn't even know they were  _ pining," _ Ford points out. "What did you expect?"

"They live together!"

"Wow, you're, like, reverse U-Hauling," Tango says, and Whiskey cracks a smile.

Hmm.  _ Suspicious. _ Whiskey doesn't smile.

But he refrains from pointing it out. Whiskey's already talked plenty about Nursey and Dex tonight. He's going to save any possible chirping about Whiskey having a crush on Tango for when he has more proof. As revenge.

"Whatever," Dex says to Tango. "And Chowder, you were the one who watched three seasons of Criminal Minds in a week because Farmer said she liked the show  _ once. _ "

"Don't try to make this about me, I've been with Farmer for two years," Chowder says. "You've been with Nursey for, what is it? Four hours?"

"More like six," Nursey says.

"Oh, I beg your pardon. Six. How could I forget?"

"Wait, Chowder, when did you find out?" Tango asks.

"Well, I listened to both of them get all angsty about it last night— I mean, it was valid! Totally reasonable reasons to be angsty. And then nothing happened and I texted Nursey about it today and he texted me back and told me and—"

"And then we heard Chowder scream through two walls and a bathroom," Nursey interjects.

"Oh,  _ that's _ what that was," Ollie says.

"I was absolutely shocked," Chowder says. "Like words cannot express my shock. But I'm also very proud of you for getting your shit together!" he adds to Nursey and Dex.

There's a chorus of agreement from the whole table and Tango returns to expounding on the merits of Princess Peach and Nursey leans towards Dex and whispers, "Do you want to get out of here?"

Dex squeezes his hand under the table and whispers back, "Everyone's going to notice, but honestly, yeah."

And, really, if they're going to notice anyway...

"We're leaving," Nursey announces to the rest of the table, and he pushes his chair back and stands up, and Dex stands up with him, and the kitchen  _ explodes _ with yelling, and the only things Nursey catches are Bitty saying "Y'all better use protection" and Whiskey snorting and saying "Nice" and then he and Dex are out the door, and when they get to the stairs Nursey kisses his cheek just because he can.

"They're probably making bets right now," Dex says.

Nursey shrugs. "None of our concern."

Because it's not. He genuinely doesn't care what, if anything, happens tonight. The only thing that matters is feeling Dex's hand in his as they climb the stairs and knowing that if they got through the last twenty-four hours, they can get through anything. And they've already gotten through so much together on the ice, so maybe it was only a matter of time, and— hang on.

"We probably have Hall and Murray to thank, now that I think about it," Nursey says. "They were the ones who put us on the same line."

"Ha. They put Jack and Bitty on the same line, too. Do you think they're doing it on purpose?"

Nursey considers that. "I don't know. We should ask."

Dex is trying not to grin as he says, "We should give them suggestions."

"Oh, I like that. Yeah, let's do it."

They reach the top of the stairs, and Dex says, "Hey, Nursey?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad I have you."

And Nursey smiles in what he knows is probably an extremely un-chill way, and he says, "I'm glad I have you too."

**Author's Note:**

> this took me more than one night of staying up past 2am but i'm glad i did!!!! also @myself at 9pm on friday night, who foolishly thought 'oh, i can finish this short ficlet tonight'..... u are a CLOWN but also the reason i have this at all so thank u
> 
> thank u so so much for reading/kudosing/commenting!!!! i love u all!!!  
> love, birl <3


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